Crickets and stuff

Back home in Carson City I've notice that the crickets have been extra loud this summer. I've not done any real research on the subject to see why they might be cricketing extra loud, but Wikipedia says "there are four types of cricket songs: the calling song which attracts females and repels other males, and is fairly loud; the courting song which is used when a female cricket is near, and is a very quiet song; an aggressive song which is triggered by chemoreceptors (how about that for a cool word) on the antennae that detect the near presence of another male cricket; and a copulatory song that is produced for a brief period after a successful mating."

The reason I bring this up is because here in Salem, South Dakota, at the Campground America park near Interstate 90, the crickets are obviously planning to take over the world, aid a new wave of hijackers, or perhaps invade some ballistic missile site. The reason I think this is the sound that they are making in the canopy of trees over our heads is without a doubt the LOUDEST I've ever heard anywhere. The buggers have got to be pissed at something bigtime. I just hope it isn't me personally. The sound can only be compared to someone cutting a very hard piece of steal with a hacksaw. I even wandered around for a few minutes trying to spot them. I figured that any creature who could make that kind of racket ought to be at least as big as my fist and be perfectly visible to the naked eye. I didn't see them, but I'm not convinced they're not up there -- plotting. I hope the military is on high alert this next week after reading this blog.

Speaking of bugs, I know that people always joke about the quantity of bugs in the mid west. Having lived in Illinois and Tennessee for varying amounts of time I can attest to the fact that bugs seem to like the country's humid mid section the best. In the past I've watched scientific programs on TV that postulate that were man to disappear from the earth (and take their bug sprays, fly swatters, and electronic zappers with them) that the bugs would soon evolve into masters of the universe. Well, in my opinion, here in South Dakota the little fellows are trying to get a head start on that process. You literally can't do anything outside without troops of winged creatures zeroing in on you and making every effort to establish a beach head.

Tonight, the air was so perfect here in Salem that we naturally wanted to eat outside. The food and wine WERE extra good au naturale, but the multi-species invaders made it necessary to have my electronic "persuader" at the ready. Sorry to say that a good number of them will not be going home to feed the little ones tonight. Mom will just have to tell the kiddies that dad was off on his usual adventure and no doubt died they way he lived -- in someone's face.

Anyway, I was taking a look at the exterior of the RV this evening and came to the realization that there are probably entomologists out there who, if they were to see the Tioga, would immediately insist on quarantining the coach until they could study the 6,352 different samplings thereon. Ultimately, I don't think a mere wash is going to clean up this thing. I think I need a giant Brillo pad. Or maybe I'll just wait a tad longer and I'll be able to shovel the the whole group into a dumpster if one that size could be found.

I think I told you about my new bug zapper. I found it at the Raley's supermarket. It's a badminton racket-shaped, handheld, battery-operated device that, when the button is held down and the racket is placed over a fly or mosquito or some such, every other wire is activated with either a positive or negative charge. When the bothersome creature flies onto the grid of wires a small electric current passes from the negative wire to the positive wire and right through him. This renders him dead in a micro second. No frantic swings of the now obsolute swatter are required. Often the bugs like the bright yellow color so much they'll come investigate on their own. This makes your job so much easier.

Wish I'd have thought of this idea. I actually have a buddy who had a full fledged, 110 volt version of one of these near his horse coral. I saw it years ago, but never projected the idea into the portable realm as the inventor of my gadget probably did. I'm sure the inventor is even now sipping a cocktail on his deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Malibu, Hawaii or the Italian Amalfi Coast. Wish I had been born with a few of those entrepreneurial genius cells between my ears.

So, that's my rant on bugs this evening. I'm sure there's someone out there who is actively figuring a way that they can turn common bugs into household pets. Humans have done it with everything else on the planet. To them I suspect that I'm no better than a common murderer. To them I say, however fondly, "NUTS!"

Good night and good reading!